Stay-at-home mom stigma?

While scrolling through Pinterest recently, I came across a someecards poster sarcastically teasing stay-at-home moms. The message was that working mothers do double duty—working out of the home all day, and then performing all the same duties that take stay-at-home moms all day to accomplish, in just a couple of hours at night. Pause...And while I shouldn't care what a snarky internet poster has to say, the truth is that it sent me into a defensive rage. In an instant, I felt belittled and marginalized by the Victorian Era woman staring at me from her pink background. Yes, it was just a poster. But, it got me thinking about two issues.

Number one: Why do women like to divide themselves instead of stick together? And number two: Why does staying home to raise your babies have to carry a stigma (or does it)?

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I was never great at connecting with those of my own gender growing up. In fact, not until I found myself pregnant, did I feel truly able to bond with any woman. But at that point, I felt like I was part of a sisterhood….finally. I was doing the most womanly thing possible and I suddenly found myself able (and wanting) to connect with other women. My birthing experience only furthered my love of the sisterhood, as I labored in bed with several women holding my hand, brushing my hair off my sweaty face, and massaging my feet. And then, in navigating the challenging waters of motherhood, I found my sanity in groups of mothers who allowed me to be a mess…..to admit my struggles….to be real, all while encouraging and supporting me. Yes, this sisterhood is pretty great, I have found.

So, why are there so many sisters still out there trying to knock other sisters down? Other mothers. This is a oft discussed topic, but for as many wisely written articles I have read, there are just as many moments that still leave me feeling baffled by this phenomenon.

Why can't it be as simple as: motherhood is difficult. Period. The end. Because, it is difficult….for us all.

We all have the right to chose our own approach to motherhood, and in so doing, take on a unique set of challenges and benefits that other options might not carry. And thank god. Because, some of us would fully lose our minds staying home, and thus need a separate (non-mama) identity to visit every day. While others would fail in the workplace because we'd be so consumed and distracted by our faraway babies. Etc. Etc. Etc. There are about as many reasons for and against staying home as there are mothers out there. So, why can't we respect each other's choices?

Furthermore, how can we speak to the experience of other mothers who are living opposite lives? How can we be so quick to invalidate one another?

And that's just it. My experience felt invalidated and misunderstood by a someecards poster that I only assume was written by a mother living an opposite life from mine. It felt so unnecessary. Where's the sisterhood in that? At the end of the day (however you may have spent that day), we are all still mothers and women. Which brings me to my second issue...

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Growing up, I was always the girl who needed everything to be equal. In high school, I was told I could not join the boy's swim team, because I was a girl. But, I joined that team anyway (after much debate and insistence). I rarely saw the divide between genders. And while I often attributed my army of male friends, desire to someday become a lawyer, or belief that I could do anything I wanted to do in life to my father raising me in a very gender neutral manner, my father insists that I was born with a strong feminist edge. Either way, I saw things going a certain way when I looked to the future.

There were several enormous life events that occurred during my formative years that led to some drastic changes in my way of life (i.e. leaving behind my male friendships, discovering and embracing my much softer, artistic side, etc), but for the sake of brevity, I will skip to the part where I became a mother…a stay-at-home mother.

I certainly wasn't one of those girls who always dreamt of having children and staying home to raise them, but when the time came, that was the decision that felt natural. And I felt so good about that decision, because it was right for me, and my family. But, as psyched as I was about my new role, I was surprised to find that I was judged at times, misunderstood often, and invalidated by my own kind (other mothers).

So, I wonder, at what point did we hurl past a more accepting reality for women? Why must we work outside the home to assert our woman power? Why must we renounce our roles as mothers to be seen as strong, intelligent, impressive women? Why does mothering the children we carried and birthed have to be a stand against feminism? Are our only choices the 1950's or super feminism?

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Perhaps a great portion of these debates is internal. Perhaps the trivial internet poster I saw doesn't speak to a general consensus on stay-at-home moms living easy, less important lives. But, I know I can't be the only mother out there struggling with her identity. Becoming a mother saddles every woman with a new set of challenges to work through. We must find a way to be this while being that, make sacrifices that we sometimes second guess, and make decisions in a sea of unsolicited opinions. So, wouldn't it be nice if we could at least have another sister's back? I think so.

She's got my whole world….in her hands

The other day, Emerson discovered my purse. It's been sitting on a chair, right under her nose, for thirteen months, and she has never paid it any attention before. Yet now, she was impatiently struggling with the zipper, desperate to see what lived inside it. And, as I watched, I found myself just as curious about its contents. You see, I haven't used that purse (or any purse at all) since I became a mother. I carried one with me for a short while in the beginning until, little by little, all the items that were necessary to my life migrated into Emerson's diaper bag, which is always with me. The rest of the once-important items were left behind in that purse, on that chair.

As Emerson dug through my abandoned purse, my old life jumped out and sprawled itself across the kitchen floor, telling a story I had temporarily forgotten. There were various beauty accessories for the woman who used to not only wear makeup daily, but would also freshen up throughout the day. There was the small pocket flashlight that I used to carry when I lived in an urban high rise so I could find my keys when I dropped them on the ground in the dark parking garage. There was a chunk of amethyst from the days when I was so consumed with my spiritual yoga and meditation practices that I carried various stones with me to benefit from their "energy." (Yes, really). There was the foot balm I used to rub on my achilles tendons to heal and prevent friction from my high heels. There was the morning sickness pops from when I was pregnant. And the soap leaves I used to bring with me when I went camping. And at last, my business card case filled with cards that read: Lola Rain Photography.

Emerson was most taken by the business cards. She tried and tried to open the case until finally it snapped in half. As I watched her manhandle my former life, I couldn't help but see the meaning in the moment. I was all hers now, and that life of mine felt so far away. At first, I felt a bit of sadness and longing as Emerson began to eat one of my business cards. But, the feeling was quickly replaced with a knowing confidence in the choices I've made. I felt the calling of a life to come, a new combination of the old and the current and some other things I've yet to realize.

It's as if Emerson was trying to tell me it was okay to unpack the past….that I wouldn't lose anything by cleaning out that purse. She began to carry my business cards with her everywhere she went, leaving a trail behind her. I'm still finding those cards all over the house. But, I smile while picking them up. Because, those cards remind me of what I accomplished before, what talent and determination live inside me, what is still very much a part of me, but is gracefully waiting for me to return to it when this job called motherhood allows the space.

My top 5 diet tips: healthy body, fit frame

Healthy eating is a lifestyle for me, not a "diet." And this lifestyle choice does more than keep my body trim. My diet choices (and yours) are invariably related to energy levels, sleep, mood, cognitive ability, productivity, quality of life and most importantly, the general health of my insides.

So, what does healthy eating look like for me? Here's my diet boiled down into five general tips: 

1. Eat food in its natural form (or as close to it as possible)- We've all heard this one. Focus your diet on whole foods (think lots of fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains, and lean protein), cutting out processed food and empty calories. Yes, eating whole foods requires more time and effort, but it is a habit that can be formed like any other and so worth the adjustment. My meals are freshly prepared (or leftovers of freshly prepared foods) with an occasional minimally processed snack (e.g. Lara Bars or Nut crackers with hummus).

2. Eat in/take out/carry snacks- This is a continuation of #1, really. I stick to my whole foods diet by eating meals at home, taking meals with me (for work, travel, outings), and always carrying snacks in my bag to avoid over-hungry-I-need-food-and-will-eat-anything situations from occurring. I rarely leave the house without a bottle of water, a Lara Bar, a bag of nuts, or piece of fruit.

3. Splurge mindfully- Because, we all need treats once in a while. I am no exception! But, you're not going to find run-of-the-mill dessert items in my house. During the summer months, you will often find a container of Coconut Bliss "ice Cream" (dairy-free and made with agave syrup instead of sugar) that I like to eat covered in fresh strawberries and/or blueberries. And during the winter months, you will often find me baking gluten-free oatmeal raisin cookies made with unbleached flours and dairy-free coconut spread.

4. Avoid dairy- I know, I know. Most people want nothing to do with avoiding dairy. I admit, it is ridiculously delicious. But, I can tell you that there is a 10-15 pound difference in my body weight when I include dairy as a regular part of my diet versus not. What's more, humans do not need dairy. It is the breast milk of another animal species, and we were not built to consume it. There are plenty of ways to get all the vitamins and minerals (calcium included) that you need without it. That said, there are also plenty of ways to make your food delicious without dairy. Some of my favorite non-dairy finds include: Earth Balance Coconut Spread, Bliss Coconut products, and Daiya Mozzarella shredded cheese.

5. Eat healthy fats- I discussed this briefly here. Healthy fats not only benefit the health of your body enormously, but they also help fill you up and stave off cravings for less healthy foods. Craving a hamburger with fries? Try a salad topped with avocado and olive oil (find the recipe for my Big Salad, chock full of healthy fats, here). Good examples of healthy fats include: avocado, nuts and nut butters, olive oil, and fish.

Happy eating, folks!


*Wellness Wednesday disclosure: I am not a nutritionist, doctor, or personal trainer. These posts are not meant to replace professional help in any of these areas. Be sure to consult an expert before making drastic changes in your health or fitness routine.

Professional

Sometimes I feel like I'm living a secret life, which is ironic given I write a tell-all blog. But, I don't talk about that in my real life. I don't explain to people that I spend most of my free moments writing, brainstorming, researching, or learning how to build a website. I don't tell anyone how passionate I am about this blog….how alive and fulfilled I feel every time I hit publish….the big dreams I have inside me. I don't admit that I have a plan, a path that I am already walking, a life I have envisioned that I completely believe will come to me. 

I'm just a stay-at-home mom, right? There are plenty of people who may think so, but I'm not. Not in my mind. Yet, I don't step in defensively when the subject comes up.

Because, my dreams are too important and in pursuing them, I am at times, too fragile. I guess I've been protecting those dreams by keeping quiet in real life and then pretending like what I'm doing is not a big deal in my online life. But, the truth is, this is a big deal (to me). This blog is my passion, my therapy, my sustenance….the beginnings of a career. I started this blog not knowing where it would take me, but believing very deeply that if I just kept writing I would be led. 

But, here's the thing. While I am very good at taking risks and walking unconventional paths, I am not very good at being an amateur. I set such high standards for myself that I become frustrated and give up too quickly. Yes, I am an expert in the field of self-defeating practices—I believe I am capable of doing something, but I expect it to happen overnight. I feel so uncomfortable and embarrassed by the growing pains phase that I try to somehow sidestep it. And even after racking up a pile of achievements, promotions, and/or compliments, I doubt myself and BOLT. Over and over, I have done this in my life. 

Yet, I have continued to write this blog. This is the one thing I haven't given up on…and that has to mean something. That simple realization hit me last night and renewed my faith in this path. Because, that is what this blog is: a testament to my faith in this path I am being led down. And by continuing to write through my many identity crisis', periods of self-doubt, and the periodic urge to give up and forget the whole thing, I have learned not only how to overcome those obstacles, but how to overcome myself.

So, while the world may still see me as a stay-at-home mom, I know the truth. I know that I was back to writing several hours every day only four days after giving birth. I know that through all of my sleep-deprivation and the overwhelming responsibility of raising a baby with little to no help the past year, I have still managed to keep this thing going. I know that I feel more successful now, writing a blog in my sweatpants while my baby sleeps on me, than I did when I commuted on trains and ferries with a business card in the pocket of my Armani blazer. It's like I read in the very book that inspired me to start living the life I am living now (This time I dance!): "Success is as much a singular affair as falling in love. That's why you can't tell by looking at how well someone's done exactly how well he or she has done. Only the soul knows. Only the soul glows."

I may not have reached "professional" writer status yet. But, my soul glows.

Thirteen months of Emerson

I guess I'm not quite ready to give up these monthly updates. It just seems that Emerson is changing more rapidly than ever before. I can't keep up. So, I need a place to slow it down a little...

The past month has probably been the most exciting month yet. Certainly not the easiest….in fact, it's been one of the toughest. But, the most exciting. We suddenly have this little person living with us—a walking, talking person full of character. After months of only being able to take a few steps, and then walking part-time, crawling part-time, Emerson finally gave up crawling all together.

The day I noticed Emerson was no longer taking breaks from walking by crawling was huge. In an instant, with a pair of new shoes placed on her feet for the first time, she was off and running. And part of me knows, she'll never return. Not to the place and time when she was in my arms all day. Not to this sacred year (and nine months in utero) that she needed me to carry her. That moment woke me up to the reality that she is her own separate being. As obvious as that may seem, it's not always so obvious to a mother. It can be difficult to distinguish the line that separates you and your babe when you share a body, or a breast, or a bed with them. But, there comes a day when it's impossible to ignore. And it's as thrilling as it is sad to realize. For I get to be an observer, watching my child blossom and create her own Universe. But, I will always want just one more sip of this unparalleled closeness.

But, back to the thrilling parts. Our little full-time walker is so amazingly joyful. I thought she was a happy baby when she learned to crawl, but O.M.G. I've never seen such excitement as I have when I set my baby toddler down in a field of grass. Or anyplace outdoors, really. She squeals and screams and toddles every which way until her feet are good and dirty. In fact, the bottom of her feet tell so many stories these days. Full of dirt, grass stuck in between toes=best day of her life.

There is much more than just walking going on around here, though. There is so much communication, and declarations of personality and independence (see her new form of personal expression here). There are new words daily, gestures and hand signals, and an array of facial expressions. Speaking of facial expressions, Emerson has learned how to scowl and it's not only intense, but frightening. Can you see the sideways scowl?

Emerson has also developed a handy diversion tactic for times when she is caught doing something she is not supposed to. When she gets the "Emerson, what are you doing?" look from one of us, she immediately starts waving at us and saying, "hi, hi, hi!" over and over. As if to distract us with her enthusiastic welcome and cuteness. God help us.

Mostly, we are in awe of the person we created. The more Em develops, the more we are allowed the privilege of getting to know exactly who she is. And who she is is so beautiful that my heart can barely process it.

Emerson gets dressed

One of my favorite things about small children is the day they develop an interest in dressing themselves. It's one of our earliest forms of expression, and oh, so precious—sometimes hilarious, sometimes shocking, but always interesting! I never thought Emerson would develop a love of clothing or her own signature style until she was a bit older, but she has been into the clothes for a few months now. And she has recently begun walking around the house in my clothes. She comes up with a way to "wear" each article and then stops every few minutes to adjust the way she's wearing it. Her creations are so creative! And tell me you don't agree that she is flat out posing in each "look!" She seems to think she's on the runway without even knowing what one is….

Pajama pants as a shawl...

Or a scarf and bonnet duo...

Camisole necklace...

Camisole wig or headscarf...

I also like to accessorize with mommy's sunglasses...

 I can't wait to see what kind of getups she wants to wear to school someday...

The workout I'm currently loving

I talked about my postpartum workout strategy yesterday: focus on one body issue at a time. I think I've achieved some great results with this strategy, because it's more realistic and easy to fit into my busy life as a mother. In addition to my focused workout, I utilize my "5 ways to lose the baby weight without trying" on a daily basis so my whole body is still getting some attention. I also take Emerson for walks several times a week.

via

Back to the focused routine. I was getting sick of not being able to keep my pants up after I lost the baby weight. I had no junk in the trunk to keep them on my hips! Which is why, I am currently loving the Brazilian Butt Workout. If you're on Pinterest, you may have come across it. Well, trust me, you will feel the burn with this one! Personally, I love the feeling of waking up with sore muscles the next day because it's proof that I'm making progress. And I am making progress! If I knew I would be writing about this on my blog one day, I would have taken before and after photos, became damn. What is it about pregnancy that makes your butt flat, droopy and extra jiggly? I don't know, but I decided to do something about the "mom butt" a couple of months ago. Thanks to the Brazilian Butt Workout, I'm happy to report that my buns are looking rounder, firmer and less assaulted by gravity. 

The workout suggests doing the whole routine three times through, but I will be the first to admit that that sounded impossible to me at first. Okay….it still does. It's all about easing into exercise and being realistic for me as a postpartum woman, so I decided to only commit to doing half the routine once through, and gradually increase that over time. That wasn't so much a choice as it was a necessity given I collapsed onto the floor, unable to move my legs the first time I did the workout (okay….again, this still happens).

This is also a great routine to do while watching the kids. Emerson is thoroughly amused and entertained watching me work my buns out! She especially likes to watch me do frog jumps!

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I hope you enjoyed health and fitness week as much as I did! I'm feeling this as an addition to my blog right now so I'm going to go with it—maybe once a week—as long as I feel like it's working. 

Did you miss my earlier health & fitness posts?
5 ways to lose the baby weight without trying
My go-to meal: fueling a healthy, fit pregnancy and losing the baby weight
TLC for the postpartum brain

TLC for the postpartum brain

I don't know about you, but I feel depressed when I focus on the parts of a problem that I cannot control….the parts that are immoveable. When it comes to my physical appearance, though, I have often done just that: focused on things I cannot control. Given that fact, I could have very easily slipped into self-loathing postpartum. I could have gotten lost in the plumpness of my still pregnant-looking belly or the dark line that ran its length, fixated on the wideness of my hip bones that never fully disappeared, longed for the breasts of my former self, obsessed over the millions of new freckles and beauty marks that erupted all over my body during pregnancy, cried over the loss of skin elasticity in various locations, or pitied the fact that my belly button has been forever stretched and reshapened. But, I didn't. Sure, these issues occur to me at times, but I have chosen to focus on what I can control. 

In the first few months postpartum, I can honestly say that the joy (and lovely euphoric hormones!) of new motherhood almost completely shielded me from any negative thoughts about the state of my body. There was no time or reason to focus on my appearance. All I could see was how awesome my body was, because it made a perfect, beautiful little creature. I felt thankful (and still do) that becoming a mother changed the way I view my body and the importance I used to place on my appearance.

Then I arrived at the point in time when my attention began to take short breaks from obsessing over my baby. I began to slowly take stock of what had happened to my body. But, I tried not to ever linger in the mirror, because it can be overwhelming (and paralyzing) to look at the whole picture postpartum. Your entire frame has endured a massive ordeal—a metamorphasis and subsequent deflation in a relatively short period of time. It finally occurred to me that I was never going to look the same again. Maybe close, but never the same "same." 

It's not just about the weight, though. For me, losing the weight was step one. But step two is a much bigger project: renovations. That's the phase I have been in for awhile now. And for sanity's sake, I have chosen to break those renovations down into manageable chunks rather than having the expectation that I can fix it all at once. Because, when I was focused on the entire package, I just wasn't working out. I mean, who has the time to do cardio, an ab routine, weight train, tone your arms, tighten your butt and thighs, practice yoga, etc. etc. all while mothering a baby?

So, I thought to myself why not pick one thing? Maybe, the one part of your body that bothers you the most….or that you'd most like to show off. Because, sometimes, having one awesome part of your body is a great way to detract attention from the less appealing parts and feel confident about what you do have going on. Age-old female trick, right? So, just one body part. Work on that until you achieve a noticeable difference and then move on to the next. All the while, working in some light cardio so the parts that aren't being focused on are still getting a little attention. For me, this has been a great way to ease into exercising postpartum while keeping myself motivated instead of giving up because it's too much work.

To that end, I will share the workout I am currently loving (and focusing on) tomorrow. Check back then!

Did you miss my earlier health & fitness posts?
5 ways to lose the baby weight without trying
My go-to meal: fueling a healthy, fit pregnancy and losing the baby weight

My go-to meal: fueling a healthy pregnancy, and losing the baby weight

I am obsessed with food. Healthy food, that is. If you were a fly on the wall of my life, you would often hear my husband asking, "I'm eating a banana! What kind of vitamins and minerals am I ingesting? Hey, hon, what can I eat to get rid of this cold faster? Baby, do you want a lot of kale or a little kale with your dinner? Is that organic/in season/dairy-free/gluten-free/sugar-free/from the farmer's market?" 

Yes, I think about, read about, and talk about food a lot. It's the number one way I take care of myself. So, naturally, I was very interested obsessed with eating right during pregnancy. I wanted to provide the best nutrition possible for my baby while giving my own body what it needed to remain healthy and fit. And I found that, after giving birth, my goals were pretty much the same. I was still growing my baby by fueling her little body with breast milk and I still wanted to support my body so it could heal and recover from pregnancy without adding to the baby weight. The easiest way to accomplish these goals is to eat nutrient-dense meals (or snacks), more often. This means eating meals that pack a good variety of the vitamins and minerals your body needs into one dish. I find that I am left feeling much more satisfied (and with much fewer cravings for not-so-healthy food) when I eat this way.

I have a few go-to meals that I eat in rotation, but the "Big Salad," as I so dubbed it during pregnancy, is one that never fails. I feel so nourished and satisfied afterwards, almost as if I can feel the nutrients going to work in my body. It's tasty, filling and so very nutritious. The protein from the eggs and hummus will fill you up, the whole grains from the brown rice bread will give you some fuel/energy without feeling heavy, and the healthy fats from the olive oil and avocado will satisfy cravings (cravings are usually your body's way of asking for something….it just takes a little bit of detective work to figure out what that is). 

All the "fat" in this meal might make you nervous. Personally, I swear by healthy fats. They are rich in omegas, good for your heart, fight fatigue, improve your overall health, and can actually help you control your weight. Healthy fats are one of my secrets! My diet is high in healthy fat and virtually devoid of unhealthy saturated fats. Let's not fail to mention that this way of eating also benefits a growing fetus or growing baby (through breast milk) enormously! 

So, here is my recipe for "Big Salad," including the health benefits of each ingredient (click links for full nutritional information):

Alexa's Big Salad

2-3 cups mixed dark, leafy greens salad mix (I prefer Olivia's Spring Mix)
*high in Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Calcium, and iron

1 cup baby spinach
*high in Vitamin A, Vitamin K, Manganese, Magnesium, Calcium, Vitamin C, Iron, Folic Acid, Fiber, B Vitamins, on the "12 best foods to eat during pregnancy" list

1-2 large carrots, peeled and diced 
*high in Vitamin A, Vitamin K, Fiber, Vitamin C, on the "12 best foods to eat during pregnancy" list

6-8 grape tomatoes, halved
*high in Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Lycopene 

1/2 an avocado, chopped
*high in Folic acid, Vitamin C, Vitamin B6, Potassium, Omegas, on the "12 best foods to eat during pregnancy" list

2 hardboiled Omega/DHA-enhanced eggs, chopped
*high in Protein, Omegas, B Vitamins, Choline (research indicates Choline can help prevent miscarriage in addition to its many other health benefits), on the "12 best foods to eat during pregnancy" list

2-4 tablespoons hummus

*high in protein, Folic Acid, Fiber, Manganese

Olive oil, to taste

Balsamic Vinegar, to taste

Salt and pepper, to taste

Gluten-free brown rice toast with Coconut Spread, on the side

Directions:

Mix all ingredients, salad mix through avocado in a bowl with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper. Top with hardboiled eggs and hummus. Serve toast on the side.

5 ways to lose the baby weight without trying

I have always been an active person. Constantly moving my body (and burning calories). But, my body responded to pregnancy and postpartum by shutting down. On the one hand, I felt healthier than ever because it was a time of supreme nutrition as I obsessed over growing the healthiest baby possible. But, I had the urge to be sedentary. I went from a life of constant motion and craving exercise (to feel vital, energized and sane) to a life of napping and sitting on the couch all day. I would get dizzy, see stars, lose feeling in my limbs, and generally just felt overwhelmingly weakened when on my feet. Thus the extent of my exercise regimen during pregnancy included taking slow walks. I listened to my body and inner wisdom and rested. I knew that was what my body needed in order to support a healthy pregnancy. If you listen closely, your body will always tell you what it needs….and that is the starting point for health. Listen.

I hoped that my need for a relatively sedentary life would end abruptly as I pushed my child out of my body. But, it did not. My recovery from childbirth was very slow. My body would loudly protest at the slightest hint of movement. I would suffer complications from simply climbing a set of stairs. At times, I would push myself and resist my body's wisdom by going for long hikes with my baby strapped to my chest. And things would get even worse. So, I rested. For nearly four months, I rested. While eating ice cream daily. And, as I mentioned yesterday, wearing maternity clothes.

Eventually, I reached a point when I was finally able to move again (it felt like an eternity!). True exercise, such as jogging, was still too painful, but I simply began to move. And the ways I began to move led to some significant weight loss. This may not be a cure-all for the postpartum body, but by adopting a more active life, you can make a difference. You can tighten and tone, lose weight and feel better while simultaneously entertaining or soothing your child. 

**A word of caution: Please remember, it's very important to start slow after giving birth. Wait the customary 6-12 weeks to allow your body to heal. Give yourself time. And don't expect your body to be capable of doing what it did pre-pregnancy just because you're no longer carrying a child. Your body has gone through an enormous ordeal. Respect your vessel.

5 ways to lose the baby weight without trying:

1. Wear your baby- I mentioned some of the many benefits of baby wearing here. But, wearing your baby doesn't just benefit the baby. It's a great way to strengthen your back and legs, and tone your abs and glutes. If you start wearing your baby from birth (or as soon as your body has healed enough), your muscles will grow with the weight of your child allowing you to continue carrying your child for many years without strain, all while toning your body. I have been wearing my baby for a minimum of four hours a day (up to 6+ hours a day) from the time my body had healed from childbirth until today. In fact, I am currently writing this with a 20 lb. passenger on my chest. Four hours may seem like a lot, and you can certainly enjoy the benefits by doing less, but it adds up quickly when you go about the business of your life or allow your child to nap on you.

Bonus tip: Wearing your child while going about your every day life does a body good. But, to take it up a notch, try wearing your baby while taking a walk or hike outdoors. Can't get outside? Wearing your baby while cleaning the house will also make you sweat. I attribute much of my weight loss to vacuuming and cleaning a two-story home while baby wearing. All the lifting, trips up the stairs, and constant movement is a workout! Meanwhile, your baby is content and you are being productive. Win. Or, go a more traditional route and try doing some squats or lunges while wearing your baby.

Caution: It's important to know how to properly use your baby carrier to prevent injury to your body. If you do it safely and ergonomically, you should not be in pain. And please, do not attempt cardio or weight training while wearing your baby.

2. Bounce on an exercise ball- I attribute the current shape of my abs to a billion hours spent bouncing on an exercise ball to soothe my baby. I mentioned the magic of bouncing here. Like baby wearing, it's not just magic for the baby, but also for your body! Comfort, soothe, and help your baby to sleep by bouncing on a ball instead of rocking in a chair and tone your body at the same time! When I first began bouncing on the ball with Emerson a few weeks postpartum, I could feel the burn in my back, abs, and legs. Fast forward twelve months and I am still bouncing my baby on the ball, but it feels easy because my muscles have developed so strongly. Another added benefit: my posture has improved greatly (I even get comments on this!).

Bonus tip: Use the ball to play! Sometimes I will hold Emerson and play "bouncy baby." This involves holding her tight against my body and bouncing as high as I can while sitting on the ball (all while singing bouncy, bouncy, bouncy baaaaby….of course). You will feel the burn.

3. Be a tour guide- From the time Emerson was born, we wanted to show her the world. We would walk her all over the house, narrating what we saw. As she grew, she loved this activity more and more. Whether we're stuck inside because of the weather or we're exploring the neighborhood, there is always so much to see when looking through the eyes of a baby. This may sound like a simple activity, but it can add hundreds of steps to your day. We've all heard how adding steps to your day can benefit your health. That's because all those steps add up! For roughly every 2,000 steps you add to your day, you have walked a mile. So, put one foot in front of the other!

Bonus tip: Take a tour around your neighborhood instead of just the house or yard. You can easily add thousands, rather than hundreds, of steps this way. 

4. Play with your child- Your child will love it, your body will love it! Get down on the floor and crawl around. A mobile child will "chase" after you. Give your shoulders, arms and back a workout by raising or safely throwing your child up into the air (try bouncing a smaller baby up and down like you are doing bicep curls….Emerson loved this as a newborn!). Roll around, jump like a frog, be silly. And the older your baby gets, the more strenuous playtime will be!

Bonus tip: This qualifies as real exercise, but you can "play" by incorporating your child into a strengthening routine. Use your baby in place of weights for bicep curls, chest presses, and shoulder presses. Hold your baby while you lunge, squat, or plié. Sit your baby on your belly as you do crunches. She will probably giggle the whole time. 

5. Dance- Do you remember when you were in college and you would leave a bar drenched in sweat after a night of dancing? I do! I also remember the soreness I felt in my muscles the next morning. That's because dancing is a great workout and burns a ton of calories. And, it's fun! It didn't feel like work to dance with my friends at a bar when I was young, and it doesn't feel like work to dance in my living room with my child now. This suggestion has the added benefit of putting you in a really good mood, too! Oftentimes when I am having a stressful day as a mother or I'm feeling a bit blue, I will turn on some upbeat music and dance with Emerson. In no time, I am smiling and feeling better. Plus, babies love music, and they love to dance. 

Bonus tip: Dance with your baby. As in, hold your baby in your arms while dancing to an upbeat song. Try incorporating your baby into your dance moves by raising them up into the air or holding them straight out in front of you and rocking them side to side. This used to be easy with a newborn, but these days I am wiped after just one song when dancing with my 20 lb. child. I can feel the calories melting off!

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That's it, folks! Simple ideas that can give you big results! Check in tomorrow for my go-to meal for fueling a healthy, fit pregnancy and losing the baby weight.