nine months of emerson

Emerson is only three months away from being a 1-year-old. How can that be?! She has also now been on this earth just as long as she existed inside my body, which is a strange realization that, of course, makes me feel kind of sad. It's as if time now marks her paces away from me. And quite literally, she's been taking paces away from me. She took her first steps a week ago, and I've got to say that the excitement was very quickly muddied by sadness. I felt my baaaabbby, my first born, my precious tiny being, slipping away into the annals of long, long ago. Long ago that will only become even longer ago, until it's all fuzzy and I'm waiting by the phone for Emerson to call and catch me up on her life. 

It's also occurred to me that nothing can ever erase the slight sting of my baby not being a baby anymore. I've always heard that somewhere around 18-months mamas begin aching to have another child. But, that's a new child, a new baby. And while I can enjoy a new baby's infancy, it won't be Emerson's. That time is gone forever, encased in gold and magic with all the things that I hold most sacred to my heart.

But, we've moved onto a new phase of Emerson. This new phase will involve teeth that can chew birthday cakes and bubble gum, hair that can be braided and adorned with flowers, legs that can run into salty oceans or dance on the hot pavement in a rainstorm, a voice that speaks of dreams and love. I have been consumed with nurturing my babe thus far, but now I get to watch her emerge. I get to discover her as she discovers herself.


Right now, Emerson is also discovering how things work. Or, more aptly put, how she can make things work. Her favorite pastime is giving our radiators a tune-up, which mostly involves her banging on them with blocks and turning the dials all the way up to five. This has led to my new pastime, which is compulsively checking the heat settings on all the radiators, because while Emerson enjoys the heat at a nice toasty five, her parents can afford about a two. Emerson is adamant that those radiators belong at five, though. As soon as I turn the dial down, she crawls right over, appalled that I have been touching her radiator, and she readjusts it. It's seriously an ongoing battle.

I have lamented Emerson's intense "curiosity" and how much she's grown. I've also mentioned that Emerson now loves to dance. Here's a quick clip of her dancing (it's so impossible to capture her doing anything, because she freezes when she sees the camera and/or crawls over and tries to grab it. Sigh):

My serious little bambino...