Thursday, May 2, 2013

this is our life- lowering my expectations, part II

I wrote about lowering my expectations yesterday….more specifically about a poop on the floor incident. But, that was more of a thoughtful piece, unlike my usual poop posts. Have I said the word "poop" too much in the last three sentences? Or in general? Interesting side note—I actually would not ever say the word "poop" until I was 23-years-old, and that was only because I started working at a daycare center and had to. Before that, I would literally cringe whenever someone would say the word. I couldn't stand it. In fact, my college boyfriend used to taunt me by listing various ways of expressing the act of pooping. And I would scream and beg him to stop while he laughed hysterically. True story. 

This might be the biggest tangent I've ever gone off on….

Anyway, what I meant to say here is that while my thoughts about the poop on the floor incident were more profound than funny when looking back on it, it wasn't exactly that way in the moment. Here is the actual conversation (in part) Alex and I had while I cleaned poop off the floor (by the way, I've said poop seven times so far, but here's some more):

Alex: You're actually taking this really well.

Alexa: Actually, I'm just so pissed that I have to keep it inside.

Alex: Oh, that's going to work out really well for all of us. Just say it all to me now. Come on, let's have it...

Alexa: Okay. Are you an idiot? Why didn't you just put the poopy diaper in the bucket meant for poopy diapers? It's right there! Why the floor?!

Alex: There was still poop on Emerson! I didn't really give any thought to the poop in the diaper. I just threw it on the floor to get it out of my way.

Alexa: It's a turd! It's round. You can't just cast it aside. It will fall right out of the diaper and roll away like a log!

Alex: Um...I did not know that.

Alex: *Long pause*

Alex: You know, the worst part of all this is knowing that it's going to end up on the internet.

Alexa: Yup. I'm writing the post in my head right now.

Alex: You could always not post this one. Maybe just skip it.

Alexa: Not going to happen.

This is our life.

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