Friday, November 26, 2010

an intimate act

Ahhhh, the intimate act. I am a free spirit by nature, but when it comes to this act I am so free I am almost lost; passionately flinging myself into the intoxicating flow, hours passing as if they were mere moments, overwhelmed by insatiability and ecstasy. I've been this way for as long as I can remember. I sometimes find it bizarre that I felt this yearning at such a young age, spending hours alone in my bedroom exploring this newfound world of mine. But, when I discovered this was an act I could share, a reciprocal volley of passion....well, I was hooked. I couldn't get enough, and could never have too many partners, although I will admit I tend to burn out on one person and move on to the next. But, I had to marry my husband because he has by far been the best I've ever had, and I never get tired of......writing with him. I fell in love with him because of his skills and ability to forever surprise me.......with his writing. Wait, what did you think I was talking about?

In all seriousness though, reciprocal writing is truly an intimate act for me. I have struggled with intimacy issues for all my life, coming from a deeply dysfunctional set of parents who couldn't have possibly modeled the necessary behaviors I would need to have working relationships. I wrestled with these issues for over a decade before I began to heal, and eventually began to trust and commit to working through my personal defects. My husband, Alex, has been the most patient and supportive individual in my life as far as that is concerned. But, it's not shocking that I was able to grow close to him and really reveal everything that lurks in my complicated soul, because we fell in love through letters before we fell in love in person. [A funny side note....before Alex, I had listed under "profession" on Facebook: professional pen pal/email therapist.]

Alex and I met when we were just 10 years old, two 5th graders who sat next to each other in our homeroom class. Our lives ran completely parallel, never crossing though, as the universe led us through the experiences, lessons, and adventures we needed in order to become perfectly suited to love and understand one another. It was then that our paths finally crossed (2 years ago). At the time I was living in San Francisco, 3,000 miles away from Alex who was in Connecticut. In a world that runs on technology, we saw each others' faces for the first time in a decade when we became friends on Facebook. It's difficult to explain why or how it all happened, because it was really a cosmic explosion....two passionate writers with similar interests and complicated minds that require an equally complicated mind in order to dance.

We spent hours every day writing back and forth to one another, feeling comfortable talking about all the things that often go unspoken. Given the physical distance and the safety both of us find in writing (as opposed to face-to-face), we were able to let go completely. It was a relationship that seemed devoid of the question "where is this going?" But, it was the one relationship, for both of us, that had a destination. Those months of writing were the foreplay to a love and friendship that sparkles in a way that is evident to all who witness it.

It comes as no surprise that Alex and I are now writing a book together. So far it has been an incredible experience sharing that passion with someone I am so passionate about. Our writing dates are my favorite part of the week! Perhaps I will share some excerpts at some point, little teasers from what I hope will be a successful book. It's an entertaining combination of humor and emotion. Stay tuned for more about our project...

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