Tuesday, December 6, 2011

20 weeks: sugar and spice

Yes, my maternal instincts were correct! It's a girl! And she's a funny little lady already. The ultrasound took SO long yesterday because my sweet little angel was in what the technician referred to as a "bizarro position." She apparently really prefers to be upside down at all times, folded in half with her legs straight up against her body, knees to her nose. This is obviously NOT a great position for ultrasound purposes, but that stubborn little Taurus was not about to move. She was a wild woman who would not stop flailing about, just not out of her little yoga pose (you are so right Natalie, she is already practicing yoga in the womb—that's my daughter!). Regardless, it was pretty fascinating to take a peak at all her organs and blood flowing through her body. We got right inside all 4 chambers of her heart, which was insane. 

It's incredible how much more connected I feel to the baby now that I can frame my daydreams in terms of gender. I can picture our little girl running up to the front door when daddy gets home at the end of the day, mother/daughter moments, Alex and I calling her downstairs for dinner. It's also nice being able to refer to her as "her" instead of "it" or "the baby." And we are already calling her by her name and trying out all her possible nicknames, which definitely makes it feel more real.

I also had a real "mother" experience this week when I clumsily missed the last 3 stairs on our staircase and fell down hard. Thankfully I didn't hit my belly at all, but I still immediately burst into crazy tears. Alex was completely stunned by my reaction and how hysterical I was. I could not stop crying for a good 20 minutes. All I could say in the moment was that I know the feeling of being a mother now—it was heartbreaking for me to consider that my child could've been hurt, painful in a way that I couldn't bear to even consider it. Of course, she's absolutely fine as you have to suffer major trauma to the belly in order to come close to disturbing the protective womb the baby is living in. But, I was still wide awake all night worrying about the minor fall and anxiously monitoring her movement inside me. It was definitely a good preview of the intense emotions that accompany parenthood. Woah!

Alex put together the baby swing this week even though we won't need it for another 4 months. He's just too adorable—he could not be stopped, he wanted something to look at that would remind him of the reality about to hit our household. I'm really glad I let him have at it, because he gets so excited every time he walks by the swing now….sometimes he even pushes it or turns on the lullaby music. It's amazing watching him blossom into a daddy and to see his excitement grow every day….which is why I asked him to start writing about the experience by guest blogging right here once in awhile. He's such an amazing writer, and the more I write about this journey, the more curious I am to hear his take. I read a few blogs that are co-written by husbands and wives, or at least have a spouse guest blog occasionally, and I really enjoy hearing both perspectives. So, hopefully Alex will make his Lola Rain d├ębut soon!

1 comment:

  1. aww! I love it. She is a little yoga master already :)


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