kripalu calling me home

My birthday was this past Saturday and I spent it up in the Berkshires at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. Going to Kripalu on my birthday has been a tradition for 4 years now— it's my time to relax, revive and reflect on the past year of my life….and experience the sheer joy of being in a place that fits me so perfectly. 

When I first visited Kripalu 5 years ago, I immediately recognized how difficult and exhausting it has been for me to live in society. It could take me hours to explain that, but quite simply I have felt pressure my whole life to act a certain way, dress a certain way, have a certain job and be interested in living a life that, for me, does not work. I even felt this while living in San Francisco, a place that fit me pretty well! I suppose a great majority of this pressure is self-imposed, but I can't feel the faintest hint of it, internally or externally, when I am at Kripalu. That is what draws me there. My inner artist/yogi/natural-living freak/weirdo/hippie feels nurtured and confident in its existence. My inner critic and outside opinions lose their power.

Just two months prior to the beginning of my relationship with my now-husband, I was filling out application forms for the selfless service program (Seva) at Kripalu, which would have meant living at the center for 4 months while learning yogic philosophy, practicing yoga and meditating, and working 35 hours a week in a volunteer position. Of course, things changed when I fell in love with my husband so I never mailed in the application. I don't for a second regret that decision, but it has formed an imaginary fork in the road in my head that once in a great while leaves me wondering where that experience would have taken me. More often though, I find myself contemplating my actual life and how to find a balance between that and the counter-culture existence I've always been drawn toward. I think this through every year on my birthday as I gaze out across the hills of the Berkshires, soaking in the glory of every pine tree and every glimmer of sunshine off the lake below. And every year I find myself closer to my true self, which is a good sign! This year I have the added peace of knowing that I am actually moving to the Berkshires next month (although my new town is about 40 minutes from Kripalu, but has the same landscape at these photos). 

Not a shabby place to eat breakfast.

The main building looks so drab and parochial, but it is the most welcoming sight to me. 

The perfect necklace for me (thanks hubby!): a hamsa pendant, which is said to protect the wearer from negative energy, warding off bad thoughts, while harnessing positive energy.

bohemian style

Art and style are inextricably linked—they are both created from a personal, organic source within us. It makes sense that painters become interior designers, photographers become stylists, or sketch artists become fashion designers. There is a natural path between any form of creation that begins with an empty canvas, whether that be a living room, a body, an empty memory card or a piece of paper. 

One of the links between artistic worlds that I've been thinking about lately is painting and fashion. I have yet to meet a painter who doesn't have a unique, personal sense of fashion. And what's interesting is that ever since I started painting again I've found myself more and more interested in fashion, specifically a longing to create my own personal style. 


I have been utterly blessed to have been working on my art for the past 2 years since quitting my publishing/editing job back in San Francisco. But, like most people who work from home, it has begun to wear on me (pun intended;) that I am rarely called on to look presentable. For a long while though, I was ecstatic about this—giving up my morning ritual of standing in front of the closet trying to decide how to put together an outfit that would be comfortable yet stylish. But, now I feel a disconnect between my need to create and express myself and the way I present myself to the world every day.


I didn't give style much thought back in my corporate days, and I never felt like I had a knack for putting together ensembles even though I had a full dresser and TWO walk-in closets to work with….I'm starting to realize that it was more a matter of having a room full of muted water colors to work with when I really favor bright colored acrylics. Have I taken this art/fashion metaphor too far? :) 


The point is I spent a gross amount of money on a style that was never mine—corporate chic. I was both hemmed in by my industry and sucked in by the sick amount of high-end fashion labels, boutiques, and department stores at my fingertips in San Francisco……and developed a dangerous, nearly daily shopping habit given my office was only blocks away from it all.

These days I feel little reason to put on a "real" outfit, to ever wear heels or to rummage through my accessory drawer. On a typical day in my work-from-home life you can find me living in yoga clothes……and I have to say, I've had enough. Spending so much of my time creating art lately has caused me to see the blank canvas of my body as such a wasted resource. Unfortunately, I have an entire room full of clothes that don't express who I am: an artist and a boho fanatic. I find myself craving STYLE right now (and craving a reason and the means to buy a whole new wardrobe!). So today, I'm dreaming of some boho goodness in my closet.


Some celeb looks I adore….

Etsy Bohemian Fashion:
1.Tunic by Plum Pretty Sugar 2.Embroidered Tunic Top by River of Romansk's 3.Clementine Hippie Head Band by Peace Love Vintage 4.Bohemian Batik and Knit Halter by My Oly Girl 5.Long Feather Hair Extension by Lady Pancake 6.Peruvian Turquoise Ring by rrunaway 7.Silver Moroccan Earrings by Go Meagan Designs 8.Little Blue Flowers Wristband by aos Leather 9.Semi Precious Stones on Leather Bracelet by Daisy Bead 10.Dew Drop Moonstone Ring by Garnet Girl Designs 11.Vintage Apron Tank Top by Ruby Chic Designs

beauty in its simplicity

A stranger: Quebec Rainbow gathering 2009: Isabelle 22 years old, originally uploaded by Benoit.P.

This photograph speaks to me on SO many levels......ahhh, I love it! The early morning light and colors are so darn peaceful, coupled with the still, glass-like water....I am simply lulled into tranquility. The remote location calls to my deep desire to be nestled in nature rather than surrounded by concrete and skyscrapers. Then there is the girl. She is so beautiful and free. I really identify with her ease here, as I find myself more comfortable with my natural state when I'm in nature. It seems to make sense to bath in a lake without your clothes, as if returning to a more primitive state devoid of societal rules, awkwardness or self-consciousness. The beauty of nature.....

"I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright."

~Henry David Thoreau

jump in the muddy puddle

A young stranger: Quebec Rainbow gathering 2009:, originally uploaded by Benoit.P.

I immediately fell in love with this photo (a young stranger at the Quebec Rainbow Gathering) months ago, and I often look at it for inspiration. Artistically, I love the intensity of the girl's expression, the beautiful composition, and the shock of bright pink. Philosophically, I love this photograph as a symbol of hippie culture and an importance placed on experiencing life over following the rules.

I am naturally an extremely fastidious person and sometimes just down right anal and crazy about tidiness. However, this all changes when I am in the presence of children, because I believe they should get dirty, make messes and be engaging and experiencing life. That's not to say I don't wash their hands or teach them to put their toys away, but if they see a muddy puddle on the street and don't have boots on, I'm going to tell them to run for it and jump in. And I think this is a concept that we can benefit from as adults. When I don't spend enough time with children, I often find myself thinking more about consequences and clean-up rather than jumping in and enjoying the wondrous possibilities in front of me (not so much a problem these days since I spend most of time with little ones).

At any rate, I think I see my childhood self in this photo. I see an obvious physical likeness, but even more so I see the carefree yet intense spirit I had as a child......way before I became a neat freak. I was messy as all heck, hated to bath or wash my hands, would scream if you brushed my hair......I simply didn't want to waste any of my time not dancing, painting, playing, or running barefoot through mud. I've been trying to recapture that spirit lately.....perhaps that is why I was drawn to this photograph.

xo

happy solstice!

11:38 pm tonight marks the winter solstice, the point in time when the earth is farthest away from the sun, which makes today the shortest day and longest night of the year. The winter solstice has been a long celebrated day of much significance throughout history all over the world. In the past it was celebrated with festivals and feasts, with the daunting knowledge that many would die in the ensuing months on account of the dwindling food supply during the famine months of winter.

Today the winter solstice is celebrated more as a rebirth, a symbolic day of new beginnings....a joyous ritual often associated with hippies. It's something I've heard about since I was a little girl. I have a vivid memory of my hippie mother leaving a small, lime green Sesame Street flashlight (because the solstice is the darkest day of the year) on my flowered Laura Ashley pillow with a note that read: "happy solstice!" when I was somewhere around 6 years old.

You can even find the term "hippie Christmas" defined on Urban Dictionary (a website that has provided me many hours of amusement over the years!) as: "celebrating the winter solstice, by burning the yuletide log then going out for chinese food and a movie." In my experience though, I've seen solstice trees and labyrinth walks rather than chinese food and a movie.

Last year, Alex and I had a small solstice tree since it was the first Christmas we'd celebrated together and neither of us had any ornaments. I made small cards out of recycled butcher paper and adorned them with spirals; which symbolize a journey through time, progress, direction and development. Inside each card I wrote our hopes, dreams and intentions for the coming year; then I threaded them onto a long strand of hemp. My idea was that we'd add to it every year and also look back to see how far we'd come in the past year by reading the previous years cards. We accomplished so much of what we set out to in 2010 and realized some pretty amazing dreams. It was so great to celebrate our progress by reading last year's cards this year!

Typically, solstice trees will also be decorated with flowers, seasonal berries and lights (due to all the darkness of the solstice).

Happy solstice everyone! The days will grow longer from here!

welcome home

Photo by Natalie Schlegel

There is a sign that reads "welcome home" as you pull into the garage of my apartment building. When my husband and I first moved in a year and a half ago, we were absolutely tickled to be greeted by the sign every time we came home at the end of the day. We'd even talk back to the sign and say "thank you!" I suppose you could say we found it comforting after spending 3 decades searching for "home." Both of us come from broken families and have seen our fair share of family homes. We have furthered the cycle of constant change in adulthood by living nomadic lives the minute we went off into the world on our own. Ironically, that feeling of "home," that settled feeling we were questing after, was found in one another (aww) rather than a physical location.

I moved my life from San Francisco, a city perfectly fit for a girl like me, to Stamford, CT a year and a half ago, to be with my husband. Although San Francisco offered everything that I look for in a home, it no longer fit me when I left....but my husband did. Unfortunately, both of us despise the city we live in now. There are corners of beauty and enjoyable times to be had every now and again, but ultimately we stick out like two sore thumbs. Fairfield county is rife with money culture, conservative minds, and not much in the way of nature (other than the beaches, but we are forest people). Don't get me wrong, I'm sure this is the perfect place for someone that fits in, but we don't. We dream of mountain air, swarms of trees instead of high rise buildings, people who look you in the eye and say hello and don't cut you off while driving, and clean land to grow our produce in. But alas, this is our home for now.

The interesting part of living somewhere that doesn't fit me/us is that I am constantly looking for places that do, which fills our life with a great deal of traveling, camping, visits to yoga retreat centers, etc. It's a pretty good way to saturate our lives with the energy that fulfills us (for the time being). My husband and I tend to gravitate toward the same cultures, feelings and locations so it's no problem getting him to plan a camping trip, to buy tickets to 3 Phish shows in a row, or to head off to Colorado, Vermont or the Adirondacks for a week. However, I definitely lean a lot farther toward the left than he does so he's not a fan of all my ideas. I can usually find ways to entice my husband to spend a weekend meditating in the mountains, living unshowered in the woods for a span of days, or even dance barefoot to drum music with a bunch of people with some serious B.O. who flagellate at will (this was only once and he ran away the minute his bare toes started to bleed from the impact). I am not always able to get him on board for some of the more dramatic declarations of alternative living that I am drawn toward.....for instance, my newest obsession: Rainbow Gathering.

Rainbow Gathering has been happening every summer since 1972 in a different United States National Forest each year. It is a group of "families" who come together to live in an intentional community (for those who don't know, it's essentially a hippie commune) for the week surrounding the 4th of July. Everyone is expected to contribute and spend their days helping the community run successfully. When you arrive there are signs everywhere that read "welcome home" and "we love you!" Now THIS is the type of place that I want to be welcomed to rather than a 17-story high rise in the heart of an urban landscape....a gathering of people who assemble in shared love for the earth and to pray for world peace. Mmm hmmm. Most people would roll their eyes, but I am LOVING it!

I won't get into all that transpires at the Rainbow Gathering, but I will share one of my favorite parts. On the morning of the 4th of July there is a silent meditation circle that ends at noon with a collective "Om." I shutter just imagining the sound of such a large mass of people om-ing.

If you love beautiful, inspired images or are curious to see more pictures of this amazing event, check out Benoit.P's photostream on Flickr. It is insane!! Truly some of the most beautiful portrait work I have ever, ever, EVER laid my eyes on. I am absolutely astounded by his talent. I would post the pictures here, but they are copy righted. Here is my favorite, followed by this and this....and this.

Oh, and my husband's response to my wild slideshow and informational rambling about the Rainbow Gathering, followed by an excited "do you want to go to Rainbow Gathering this summer?!!" was, "I think you will have a fantastic time at Rainbow Gathering this summer...have fun!"

a (rather extensive) window into lola's style & soul

Natalie Schlegel Photography

I've always been drawn to the aesthetic in life, so it's no surprise that I am overly observant of a person's style--the way they decorate their physical body and also the way they decorate the physical space they live in. My memory is nearly photographic when it comes to this...I'm actually borderline embarrassed of the level of detail I can recall on such matters. And I've always been this way. I suppose in the past it made me feel self conscious (ok, I suppose it still does!), because I felt so interested in style that it made me such a highly observant person (read: a lot of losing myself in what appears to be spacing out). I could write a book about this topic alone, but what I have been thinking about lately is this sense I've always had about not having my own personal style, which honestly makes no sense, but it's how I've felt up until recently.

As much as I admire and am drawn to some specific styles, when it comes to my body and my home I tend to have a hard time choosing items that I feel like I should be incorporating into my life. It's that idea of "should" that bothers me. And it's the idea of "should" that has led me to feel as if I don't have a personal style. The "should" issue is a long story, but mostly I have felt like I was stuck in an era or numerical age that "should" be over and done with.

The overwhelmingly obvious fact is that I have a rather strong style....it's ecclectic (like me) and fuses together a combination of pretty mainstream style with a bohemian flair and powerful touches of all things homemade and personal. And regardless of my feelings about not having an aesthetic identity, I have forever heard from all that know me "oh, that's SO Alexa!" And I've forever been told that every one of the million homes I've made for myself has had my energy and personality written all over it.

So, here is a little glimpse into my home. A small collection of things that I guess one could say are "very Alexa."

This is my favorite bookshelf in my home. It is a rather accurate reflection of "Alexa." The combinations of colors, the personal items and their meaningful stories (everything I own has to have a "story!"), the way it sits next to the hand drum I bought on the beach in San Diego....ahhh, I just love this display.

I love things arranged by color....I'd wager that almost anything you can think of is organized by color in my home. Example #1: books. Books are equally as lovely to look at as they are to read in my opinion.

Aside from books, you can also find on these shelves: a potted cactus plant that is actually the "baby" of a cactus plant that my long deceased grandmother owned. I believe the mother plant is close to 60 yrs old? Crazy. Next, a gorgeous wooden Buddha head that I bought while living in San Diego years ago. And a wooden box with an Emerson quote inscribed on the top ("What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us."). Inside the box is an amazingly ornate compass given to my husband by one of his many fans (a student of his).

On the second shelf is one of my favorite belongings: my wooden thinker man. He really reminded me of myself when I saw him on a street peddler's table on the AMAZING island of Ibiza, Spain. I HAD TO have him. I remember having left my wallet at our hotel so I begged my wonderful friend Amy to lend me the money to buy him. Also on this shelf is a framed saying that my late (and insanely missed) adoptive mother gave me on my 21st birthday. It reads: "You are loved for the little girl you were...the special woman you are now...and the wonderful daughter you will always be."

Starting at the top: front and center is a multimedia collage that I am absolutely in LOVE with. My husband bought it for me at one of my favorite places in the world, Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, up in the Berkshire mountains of Massachusetts. The color combination intoxicates me. I honestly stare at this piece every day. The bookshelf sits on the opposite wall from my couch so it is often within my view (on purpose). I also love the mass of wild, semi-curly hair on the girl (somewhat like my unruly mane) and the Eleanor Roosevelt quote speaks to me: "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." How could I NOT be inspired by that?

Also on top of the bookshelf: a folded tapestry I bought at another one of my favorite places: Harvest in Manchester, CT. I used to live 2 blocks from this amazingly mystical hippie shop and I always stop by when I'm in town. Then there's the small bronze bowl holding a beautifully perfect shell that I collected from a beach near Boston. Also, a distressed vase....it's a Pottery Barn find, but I love it oh so much. Next, a bronze Ganesha statue (remover of obstacles, patron of arts & sciences, and god of intellect and wisdom). He was also purchased at Kripalu. Lastly, a fabulous bronze lantern which was the inspiration for the homemade centerpieces at my wedding.

I love the collection of yellow and orange books. So beautiful to look at! Sandwiched in between the blue/aqua collection and the purple/indigo collection. Love. The titles on the books are also interesting. Notice on the left, a book only I would own: The Hippie Handbook.

Ahhhh, my new dinning room table. I have always dreamed of having a solid place to enjoy the company of those I love that can double as a substantial workspace for my writing, craft projects and photography binges. This table fits the bill. We have only had it for about 2 weeks now and it has already added so much warmth to our home. We had our first family dinner at it this past Sunday, and as my husband and I exchanged glances while listening to my brother-in-law and father-in-law lose themselves in intellectual ramblings, we truly felt "home." I look forward to the lifetime of family gatherings that will take place at this table (which extends on both sides to accommodate our growing clan).

This is the current centerpiece on our table. I will change this often with the seasons and my moods (like everything else in my life). I really love to bring the outdoors inside where I can appreciate it year round and at any hour. I envision myself living in a house one day that has an overwhelming resemblance to the forest (also the theme of my wedding...I can't wait to have pictures to post). I'd even love to have pieces of real trees growing out of the floor. Something like what I saw at the Wild Center up in the Adirondack Mountains: see the indoor birches here.

This area was difficult to capture with my camera given its tucked away nature, but this is what I call my "green corner." I loosely (but sometimes obsessively) incorporate Feng Shui into my living space so my things are arranged according to the element that belongs in a specific directional corner (north, south, east, west, etc). This is the East corner of my home, which is the "wood" corner, with green and brown being the colors associated with it. Using these colors in this corner is said to enhance health, vitality and growth in your life.

Items in my green corner: a canvas that I covered with a green and brown piece of fabric that I adore. The canvas underneath it is actually a painting I painted for this corner--an abstract called "Green Clouds." But, I am a creature of change so after awhile I needed something new to look at and covered it. Also, a tall candle with a green swatch of cloth fastened to the front that reads: meditate. Another Harvest find: my dancing shiva (lord of dance, responsible for "change").

I love to collect beautiful vases. The vase on the top shelf was a surprising find (made by a local artist) at the Whole Foods in downtown San Francisco that I used to shop at. The lotus bowl, another Kripalu purchase, is filled with stones (also Kripalu). I won't get into the detail of it, but I am also semi-obsessed with gemstone therapy. This is a collection of (I think, I can't quite remember) Agate and bloodstone. On the bottom shelf is a lovely gift from my brother-in-law. He has a fabulous friend (in Vermont I believe) who makes her own pottery. Beautiful.

All I can say about this is I LOVE all things warm, yummy and inviting. I am also known for choosing a lot of cream, ivory and white. It used to be a little out of control, but now I have added a lot of pops of brilliant colors to balance it out.

I always wanted to own a white/cream couch before I have children around to destroy it.....what I didn't consider when I purchased it was that I would have a husband who could do just as much damage as a little one.

The couch is covered with welcoming accents of faux-sheepskin, which I cannot say enough about! The feeling of these pillows and blankets against your skin is heavenly! It's like an adult version of a teddy bear or security blanket....we love them! We also own way too many throw blankets, another thing I can NEVER have enough of. I'm a creature of comfort and hibernation.

Lastly is my ocean corner. This is the North side of the house, which in Feng Shui is associated with the element of Water and the colors blue and black. Bringing these elements into the corner is said to enhance career success. I've arranged items that represent water or the ocean, and the colors black and blue, on this antique wooden table from Spain, given to me by my father years ago. It's one of my favorite pieces of furniture!

The large print of a wave rolling in was taken by me (the fabulous Lola Rain) and is for sale in my Etsy shop. The photo was taken at Stinson Beach in Northern California. The smaller print of a collection of beat up wooden oars was also taken by me, and is also for sale in my Etsy shop. This was the first photo I ever took as a photographer, at the age of 14. I made the spool of film this was captured on and developed it myself in a rustic old dark room in the woods of Maine.

Also on the table: a glass vase filled with sea shells, beach stones and starfish collected all over the world by my late adoptive mother, and myself. I love the history, sentiment and beauty this vessel holds....a pocket of memory.

Then there is the small purple corked vase next to it that reminds me of something you'd stuff a message into and toss into the sea. Front and center is a wooden treasure chest with beautiful detailing carved into its top. People always rave about this piece believing it's from someplace amazing (knowing me), but it's actually from Target! Can't beat it.

Last on the table, and last in this edition of "my home, my style," is a silver box with a blue ceramic top painted with a Phoenix (the mythical bird that never dies) given to me by a family friend many years ago. Being a rather dramatic and intense girl at the time (and still:) I proclaimed this box would hold the insides of my soul given the Phoenix represents a great capacity for vision and collecting sensory information, and a great source of beauty and inspiration....all things I identify with.

What was later put into the box is quite interesting, but unintentional in reference to a "collection of my insides." Here is the list of its contents:

*A piece of folded up paper decorated with clouds. I wrote these words on it when I was 21: I realize that I can find comfort in my own company. My thoughts run out of my mind and dance across the page in a way that makes me feel like I can create beauty, no matter how ugly the emotion or painful the thought. It is my way of taking all the hurts me and making it something beautiful. I guess that's how I see myself. My strength comes from my weakness, my ugliness becomes my beauty.

*A stone pendant that I used to wear around my neck when I was 12 yrs old. It was a gift brought back from a Native American reservation in Arizona by my father and late mother. It was supposed to be a symbol that represented me, and was said to bring me good luck. I used to rub it and make wishes....all day long.

*A blank onyx stone with a spiral etched into it. This was given to me by my father who wasn't aware of my lifelong obsession with spirals. I've been wearing a spiral around my neck for years and have been drawing intricate patterns of them in my sketch books for as long as I can remember. They are supposed to represent the journey of a soul (among many other things).

*Various coins from foreign lands. Many from the summer I lived in Spain.

*A perfect, tiny seashell from a beach in the Headlands, San Francisco (where I lived for 4 years).

*A bottle of homemade perfume oil called "Magic" that I bought from an amazing Spanish hippie at a flea market on the island of Ibiza, Spain. It is the most tantalizing smell ever....you can still smell the remnants of it in the bottle. I hope the scent never goes away.

So, there you have it: my style, my soul. It's amazing how much one's belongings says about who they are and where they've been. What jumps out most to me is the intense emotion and meaning behind the things I surround myself with. I am an extremely emotional, sentimental, romantic, deep soul....and I think that shows up in my "style."

This may have been the most fun I've had writing a (very loooong) blog entry so I think I may continue with the theme in the future. Stay tuned....

om baby baby

I light up with passion and inspiration when I am photographing, but what takes that experience to a completely different level is when my subject picks up on my energy and we begin to flow like one stream of creativity. Sometimes this happens when I pick up on my subject's vibe and I begin to imagine their experience of life....somewhat like an actress getting into character. And sometimes my subject picks up on my particular way of seeing the world and take it on as they pose. This doesn't always happen, mind you.....but when it does, it's an exciting experience of being in the moment, fully alive.

On that note, I thoroughly enjoyed photographing Nicole because we share a spiritual, yoga-centric understanding of life. And given Nicole's admiration of all things hippie, I am able to pull her more in my direction. As she put it, her husband was going to notice that she came home from my house smelling like Patchouli, slathering herself in the bar of homemade soap I gave her (aptly called "Om"), and speaking of meditation beads and the natural beauty of her pregnant body. Love it.