Thursday, February 24, 2011

emotional release

As I've mentioned, it's been incredibly freeing to start painting again! The very first painting I worked on was such an emotional experience that I knew it would be the beginning of great shift within me. At first I felt the nervousness of over 15 years of inhibition and fear, the final clinging to the corner of my heart that was afraid of the light.....afraid to be expressed. That first painting was a struggle to paint, but ever since I have experienced such freedom and joyful expression. It is a part of myself that I had long forgotten, an almost childlike playfulness and respite from my battle to feel safe enough in the world to express myself. It's exactly what I needed, and something I lump into the category of "spiritual practice" along with yoga and meditation (and a few other things).

I have also noticed a huge shift in my emotions since I have been is almost surreal. I feel more open, better able to express myself and I have very unexpectedly begun to recover some intense repressed memories, little by little. I never expected all of this, but it only makes the practice of painting that much more meaningful for me. I now understand why I felt unable to paint for so long, why the thought of it caused such fear and nervousness.......I wasn't ready to experience all that I am experiencing now.

All of this makes me wonder what other painters experience through their art and the act of creating it. Every form of art that I create or express yields an entirely unique yet powerful experience for me, and I can't help but think other artists must be this emotionally connected to their work (I'm going to have to start asking them!).

I feel so grateful and in awe of art. I know that I personally couldn't exist without heart, soul and mind would be in such a state of turmoil that I feel fairly certain it'd be a slippery slope to insanity. I think we are all born with so much to express to the world and it's utterly important that we feel free to find our means for expression. I happen to feel such intense emotions that my whole body is buzzing and shaking in feelings that cannot be fully expressed with words (although, being a writer, I certainly try). For me, art is necessary, expression is necessary, emotion is necessary.........I couldn't live any other way.

Emotional Girl by Southern Prairie

Emotional Response by Studio Marlene

Surrender by Alice Lily Fine Art Photography

1 comment:

  1. great post. I'm loooking forward to seeing more paintings from you in the future.I'm glad you found all these expressions and emotions from painting.


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