Monday, February 14, 2011

love every day

I have been preoccupied with love for as long as I can remember. For the greater portion of my life it was seemingly all I thought about. I am wildly romantic and only know how to create very intense loves.....and I've had quite a few intense relationships, but I'm not sure I was ever truly in love before Alex.

One could easily say, given my painful childhood, that I was desperate to fill the empty holes in my heart by constantly engaging in over-the-top love affairs. But, when I found my husband that story seemed less true. Surely I wanted to be loved in a way that I wasn't as a child, but "trying on" all those relationships was more about a deep sense of faith. I always believed I would find the kind of love I found in my husband. The disappointments, heartache, frustration, and loneliness that I inevitably faced throughout my love life could never shake the faith I had in finding the kind of love that changes you, the kind of love you never question.

I'm writing about this on Valentine's Day, because I am struck by how trivial the day seems to me this year. I haven't given it any thought or planned anything with my husband and both of us were almost completely unaware that the "holiday" was approaching. We will have a quiet, romantic, candle-lit night at home, but what strikes me is that that is a normal occurrence in our life, and in our relationship. Romance and expressing our love, admiration, and appreciation for one another is a daily practice that we are both extremely committed to. Surely our life isn't all candles and poetry (but there is a lot of that *smile*), and our schedules get hectic and exhausting at times, but being in love has remained the most important thing to both of us crazy romantics (yah, yah, yah, I'm sure a lot of you are thinking "wait til the kids come along" ha).

At any rate, my point is that Valentine's Day has lost its mystique and that makes me smile because I know it means that I am content and satisfied rather than what it was in the past: being totally aware of how alone I was on February 14th or being totally aware that I was using the day to try to force romance with someone that didn't fit me. So I'm feeling incredibly grateful today......and I hope you all are too!


Love Will Save the Day by Field Trip

Love Shack by Whimsy Studios

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