alex's vows

Photography by Natalie Schlegel

Yesterday I shared the wedding vows I wrote for Alex. Today I will share what he wrote for me....

Alexa, I first saw you (as an adult) when I came to pick you up in a blizzard. I got lost on the way, but then your neon orange jacket suddenly shown out, walking down the white road to meet me. Your green eyes spoke of kindness and your smile immediately calmed me and allowed me to tell you all the difficult things that so often go unspoken between two people. As we had dinner, it was as if going out with a familiar friend, with whom conversation was as effortless as air. When you attacked me with kisses in the car afterwards, I got the sense that the feeling was mutual. Since then life has been easy.

For you have eased in me what was angry, have brightened the parts of me that were sad. As a perfectionist, I never saw the accomplishments I had attained, I never saw any sort of progress. I only saw that which I did not have. But your constant expressions of love, your constant reminders of how far I have come, and of everything that I am worth, have eased me to the point that I could die today and still feel truly content and accomplished, no matter what. For as long as you hold my hand and calm me with your gentle words, I will always find the satisfaction in any trouble.

I promise that I will always try to provide you with the same sense of comfort. I will hug you when you need reassurance, kiss you when you need love, remind you of your talents when you are insecure, and calm you when you are agitated. No matter what tragedy life may throw at us in the years ahead, I will remain by your side, with faith as blind as the snow I found you in, and love: warm and hot and forever.

we're married!

Well, we did it! Alex and I became husband and wife this past Saturday in beautiful Stowe, Vermont. It was more magical, significant and fun than either of us could have imagined.

One thing we heard repeatedly was that our vows were incredibly touching. Since we are both writers we naturally felt compelled to pen the words ourselves....I suppose it was more like we wouldn't have had it any other way. We also co-wrote our entire ceremony so we were excited to share that (and our vows) with our friends and family (second to that was showing off all my handmade decorations and personal touches--look for future blogs about that).

So given the rave reviews we received about our ceremony, I thought what better way to continue to share the magic than to post our vows. I will post mine today and will post Alex's tomorrow. Enjoy the love!

Photography by Natalie Schlegel

Alex, on our first date I looked across the table at you and immediately thought “I love this man and time will uncover all the reasons for this instant and pure emotion.” After that I came to know you and love you so quickly because I had finally found someone with the same intense level of openness, passion, introspection, honesty, romantic inclination and zeal for life that I have. As you drove me home from our second date you told me that you had always longed to have someone know all your stories, to hear the whole truth of Alex and to understand your experience without words. Today I stand here feeling honored to be that person.

In loving you I have opened myself in a way I never thought possible. You have witnessed more than anyone else all the ways that I shine and all the ways that I struggle, and through it all you have been an unwavering voice of acceptance and support. You have taught me what unconditional love is and have provided me with the safety and comfort I need to better myself every day. In return I have been able to love you as intensely, openly and authentically as you deserve. Thank you for knowing exactly how to love me.

I promise to spend my life returning all the beautiful gifts you give me daily. I will forever nurture our friendship so that we may always be blessed with the laughter, adventures, passionate conversation and deep sense of connection that both of us thrive on. I will give you my acceptance and support so that you may always have a safe place to share yourself and feel the comfort of a hand that always holds yours. I will offer you the free flowing affection, praise, gentleness and indulgence that you offer me so you may always know how truly beautiful, unique and loveable you are. Most importantly I will spend the rest of my days filling your life with the uncontrollable and passionate love that never stops pouring from my heart to yours. I will love you forever.

the tao of motherhood

"giving birth and nourishing, having without possessing, acting with no expectations, leading and not trying to control: this is the supreme virtue."

I've been wanting to photograph Hannah's tattoo ever since she got it. I wish I had had more time to thoughtfully put this shoot together, but the two of us chatted the day away as usual so I was only left with a small amount of time before I had to head home. I'm pretty awed by the few images I was able to capture though. They take my breath away, and not because it's my photography, but because Hannah exudes the strength and beauty that only a mother goddess can possess. I am so inspired by her approach to pregnancy, birthing and mothering....and I am so thankful I have been able to watch her go through it, because I feel all the more prepared to become a mother myself having her experiences and philosophies to reflect on. And the deep black words tattooed on her porcelain back give me even more to aspire to when the time comes.

red, red, red

I am very drawn to color and the way different shades play off of one another. I am so emotionally affected by it. A mystical shade of deep green swimming around a low key variation of aqua, being hugged by ivory and lightly freckled with a rosy pink...well, I find myself lost in the emotion of it. That combination, for instance, makes me smile, then sigh, then feel overcome by a feeling of soothing and peace.

While I have a deep appreciation for black and white photography, and often feel more compelled to shoot my portraits that way, there is something magnificent about those photographs in which the colors line up in perfect harmony. I love the portrait of Cupcake above for this reason. The burnt red of the brick contrasting against her porcelain skin, bringing out the vibrancy of the scarlet hair piece, bouncing off the chesnutty red of her hair, and the faint rose glowing in her cheeks. To me, it's perfection.

apple picking

Fall time in New England just doesn't feel complete without a trip to the apple orchard to pick some crisp, tasty fruit. I love the whole process--the long, windy drive through the countryside, the smell of fresh apples wafting up and down the rows of perfectly placed apple trees, the long walk on a sunny fall day, biting into apple after apple in search of perfection, and the autumn spiced baked goods pouring out of my kitchen afterwards. We made a delicious gluten-free apple pie this time, but I'm thinking our next trip will yield a nice apple spice bread. Oh, I love autumn!

a deviation from my usual sunshine hippie style

I am not one of those people who is fascinated by disturbing images or areas of life. I do not enjoy disturbing movies or images of death, violence or gore...heck, I can't even watch the news because my big heart and wild visual memory cannot handle the horrific. I just choose to quietly accept those realities but focus my attention on the parts of life that light my heart up and make me smile.

I'd say the part of my brain that makes me an artist and writer combined with my sensitive and gentle nature is the cause of my avoidance of any and all things disturbing. Being an artist, I naturally think and experience life visually. My memory is filled with billions and billions of intricate and detailed pictures, without sound. Being a writer, I am also wildly imaginative and cannot stop my mind from creating fantastical stories based on the images locked away in my brain. When I put those two things together, my sensitive soul would rather the bulk of those slideshows in my head be filled with smiles and sunshine. That's just me. I would rather look at the girl on the side of the road handing out daisies to strangers than look at the bloody car crash in the middle of the traffic.

play

"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”

~Plato