i carry you under my heart

"Before you were born I carried you under my heart. From the moment you arrived in this world until the moment I leave it, I will always carry you in my heart." ~Mandy Harrison

I posted the same quote (above) almost a year ago exactly—the difference is this year when I typed the words, I cried. I know I have been talking about pregnancy quite frequently, but that is what consumes me these days. I know I will get back to creating art soon (thus have more to blog about in that area), but I also know that my life and thoughts are shifting right now. That being said, this was a big week. Sure I have struggled to get out of my pajamas and have basically been in bed since Monday, but even so it's been a big week. 


Alex and I heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time on Wednesday, which was thrilling, awe-inspiring and just plain magical. I wasn't able to hear it at my last appointment, because the baby was still buried deep within my belly thanks to the somewhat irregular position of my organs at the time. So, I have been waiting for what feels like FOREVER to hear this little bean's heart go woosh woosh. Alex and I had intended on videotaping that, but we were both in awe once we heard that sound….and forgot. 


Then yesterday I felt the baby move for the first time! Talk about exciting! I was literally reading about fetal movement when I realized that that was what I was feeling. Then I kept poking at my belly to make the baby move again until Alex (hello protective father already!) begged me to stop traumatizing the baby who was probably freaked out by the walls of her/his home caving in. 


The last big event was scheduling my next ultrasound today. Making a phone call and writing a date down in my calendar may not sound like an exciting event, especially since the ultrasound is a month away, but it was because now I know exactly when I will find out if I am carrying a boy or girl. I cannot wait!