29 weeks

I mentioned last week that I had an emotional meltdown in a hospital lab and found myself sobbing all thanks to a Martina McBride song. What I didn't mention was that later on that same day I also burst into tears when I paused for a moment on an episode of A Baby Story (something I normally refuse to watch because it does not depict the kind of birth I'm hoping for). But, this episode featured a home birth and at the moment I breezed by it I heard the midwives saying to the mother in labor "it's ok, let your baby out." That phrase sounded so beautiful….such a nonthreatening way to tell a woman to push. I then cried an hour later when I made Alex watch said episode with me, because I felt the need to record it after being emotionally moved. And then an hour after that I cried as I tried to explain to Alex why I love him. It was a big day for me and my hormones. Welcome to my third trimester…I sometimes resemble a mental patient….or actually, an infant (how fitting).


I must say, my due date has felt so close for much of this pregnancy, mostly because the idea/reality of having an actual baby in our house is so intense that it happening in any amount of months feels like it's tomorrow. I simply cannot put that feeling into words. 





Now, we are just 11 weeks away, and I oscillate between feeling like this is happening tomorrow and like this is happening a year from now. Intellectually, it's like "holy @*!% only 11 more weeks of life as a twosome; only 11 more weeks to finish this gigantic list of to-do's; only 11 more weeks until I can no longer spend 45 minutes smelling soaps and candles at Whole Foods; only 11 more weeks of getting 10 hours of sleep every night….I think I need a little more time!" But, physically—and that's the part of me that's getting difficult to ignore—it's like "OH. MY. GOD. 11 more weeks of being pregnant?! But, I am stretched out as far as I think I can be. I've been carrying this baby around for what, like 2 years now, right? But, I don't want to grow any more chins…I'm overwhelmed by the number I currently have. I've already had to buy 3 sets of bra sizes and you're telling me these puppies are going to grow 2 more times?! But, I miss not wearing a bra. Do you know what it feels like to be literally punched in the bladder? This baby is going to double or maybe triple in size in the next 11 weeks….how will I ever keep my urine in?" 


These dueling mentalities are accompanied by bouts of me holding my belly and tearing up because I can't handle the love I feel for this little being…and I simply cannot wait to snuggle her.


Oh, the waiting game.  

28 weeks

27 weeks

26 weeks

25 weeks
24 weeks
23 weeks
22 weeks
21 weeks
20 weeks
19 weeks
18 weeks
17 weeks
16 weeks
15 weeks
14 weeks
13 weeks
And Baby Makes 3!