Tuesday, March 13, 2012

34 weeks

Life right now can be summed up into one word: a scramble. I realized the other night that I really could give birth at any time—it's not as likely to happen, but it could. It's happened to friends of mine this early and that's enough to enter it into my brain as a possibility. Chances are I will carry to full-term and probably be complaining, right here, in about 6-7 weeks about how it still hasn't happened. The unpredictability of birth is what keeps me up at nights, though. "Most likely" and "typical for first time mothers" aren't enough to make me chill out. And so, Alex and I have jam-packed the next two weeks (he's off of work) with appointments, errands, projects….what my husband likes to call "settling scores." "We're settling old scores, settling scores" is what he keeps muttering under his breath around the house. Given how furiously we're trying to have everything handled by week 36, I bet baby girl will decide to come around week 42 instead….because that's the way life happens.

I've been making room for baby girl all over the house. It's a strange feeling…almost like moving in with a boyfriend—emptying a drawer here, clearing off a shelf there, filling each room with items that he might enjoy…wondering how we're going to share this space that used to be all mine. Suddenly, there are baby bottles where the coffee mugs used to be, a blue, rubber whale covering the water faucet in the shower staring at me as I soap up, swinging and bouncing chairs mixed in with our living room furniture, nipple cream on my nightstand, teeny tiny socks lying at the bottom of my dryer. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm preparing for a super important celebrity to move in—as if this baby is going to notice that I've dusted all the window sills and organized all the closets. 

In my heart, I do feel like this tiny new roommate is a celebrity. I can't imagine anyone else whose presence I'd be more in awe of, anyone I'd rather meet, anyone I'd fawn over as much as I know I will this little girl. I would honestly be calm in the face of preparing to meet Ryan Gosling or Natalie Portman, I'd feel totally normal about walking into the Oval Office to meet the President, I wouldn't scream or pass out if Phish invited me backstage after a concert. But, baby girl….I've already started the fan club and planned the parade. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.