kanye brings tears to my eyes

If you burst into tears while listening to Kanye West in the car…..you might be pregnant. That's right. Last night I had a ridiculous pregnancy moment. I was driving back to Massachusetts in the rain, in the dark, during rush hour (read: miserable) after spending the day with a dear friend in Connecticut, when Kanye's "Stronger" came on the radio. I immediately turned that sh*t up…..and then burst into tears. I figured this had to be documented before my pregnant mind forgets this hilarious moment. Yes, in the middle of traffic I had a life-affirming moment—I suddenly felt like a powerful warrior woman rather than a miserable, complaining mess of a pregnant woman. And though I know Kanye wasn't really singing to me personally, or talking about pregnancy in the slightest, I could've sworn he was. "Now that don't kill me/ can only make me stronger/ I need you to hurry up/ 'cause I can't wait much longer." Clearly Kanye knows I feel impatient to meet this child growing inside me who has morphed me into a stronger person than I've ever had to be. Right? I don't know, but I feel like a new woman after that drive. And I'm sure one day my child will appreciate hearing the story about when his/her mama resolved to buck up and be a warrior mama. 

After recounting this crazy story to my husband when I got home, I asked him if he'd whisper "that don't kill you, can only make you stronger" in my ear when I'm giving birth, or maybe play the song…..or would it be totally inappropriate if those were my first words to our baby? He wasn't sure where his real wife had gone, but he was sure that when she returned she'd shoot down this crazy lady's ideas and insist that she had in no way changed her mind about her "new agey/mediation/yogi music and nag champa candles" plan for the delivery. 

Not the actual music video, because I'm too impatient to wait for that to load.

new page

I've replaced my "About LBR" page with a "New Reader" page, which I think is also a great resource for current readers! I'm constantly looking for ways to make my blog more reader-friendly, and at the same time check in with myself about what I'm doing with this blog. I thought adding a page that would give my readers a quick snapshot of what I do, along with some suggested reading, would be the perfect change. 


Below is the new page, which you can also visit by clicking the link at the top of the page…..

Hello there! I’m Lola! I’m a 31-year old artist and mama-to-be, living in the Northern Berkshires of Western Massachusetts. I am primarily a photographer and writer, but have dabbled in just about every art form there is throughout my life. I cannot live (sanely) without creating and expressing. I am committed to living an artistic life, an authentic life, the only life that feels right for me…. and I blog about that journey here.

This blog is evolving. In the past year, my life has changed in every way imaginable: from city to the isolated mountains, single to married, apartment renter to home owner, childless to expecting. It would be unnatural for me to leave any of that out so I’m being flexible with my blog as I watch it grow into something new.

Why bohemian?

I’ve been called a hippie for half my life, but I think bohemian is a better term. Bohemians practice unconventional lifestyles, they are adventurers or vagabonds, they are artists, writers, musicians, actors, they believe in peace and love. “Bohemian” is one word that nicely wraps up so much of who I am into a neat little package.

What do you blog about?

Some of my favorite things to blog about are photography, painting, healing, life struggles, inspiration, and pregnancy. I also regularly promote other artists and Etsy shop owners, mostly by integrating their artwork or products into pieces I’ve written on a related topic.

Popular posts…

Lola Rain, A (Rather Extensive) Window Into Lola's Style and Soul, Gift Guide: Etsy Finds for Particular Folks, Holiday Wish Lists: Gift Ideas, My Future Shangri-La: Meditation/Yoga Studio, The Consequence of DNA, New York New York, A Walk Through Boston, 5 Internet Resources for Creative Souls

A few of my favorite posts….

Inspiration: To the Dreamers, Looking for Inspiration, Inspirational Words, What am I Doing with My Life?, When You Compare You Lose, Be Happy So Long As Breath is in You, Artists Need Love, Surround Yourself With All That Inspires You, Gratitude.

Photography: Lila, Olivia and Mama Nicole, Sweet Olivia, The Tao of Motherhood, Glowing and Growing, Om Baby Baby, The Many Faces of Hannah J, Canvas Prints, The Metamorphic Life of a Tree and a Girl, My Portfolio in Review.

Painting: Get Your Paint On: Week 2, Taking Risks With Color, Stand Alone Beneath the Stars, Orange Horizon and Classic Rock, Led Zeppelin, Phish and a Little Birch Bark, Theme From the Bottom, Sea Shell Sea, Sweet Little Bird. 

Life: A Day in the Life of Lola Rain, We're Married, Alex's Vows, It's Just the Beast Under Your Bed, Living in the Light, An Intimate Act, Bohemian Style,The Best of Two Years, Learning to Let Go.

Music and Performance Pieces: Buttercup History, The Consequence of DNA,Worth the Wait

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I would love to hear from you! Feel free to comment, ask questions or share yourself (in a kind, appropriate way please!).

Thank you for stopping by! I hope you stay and read for a while! If you think you’ll enjoy reading more, please sign up to follow me, or subscribe.

xo Lola Rain

16 weeks

As I mentioned on Friday we heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time last week. Since then, the reality of this baby has been setting in more and more for Alex and I. When we had our first (and only) ultrasound I sort of felt like I was watching someone else's baby, because the monitor was all the way across the large room rather than right next to me. There is something about hearing the heartbeat though….to hear a heart beating below my belly button, nowhere near my own heart, was insane. The confirmation that there is a life already thriving inside my body was just so powerful. It seemed to have the same effect on my husband who has been feeling more and more excited/emotional about the whole process. 


I'm pretty damn lucky to have a husband who is so involved. Pregnancy can be a very isolating/lonely experience, even when your husband is sitting right next to you. It's the first time I've ever really looked at him and thought/said "you have NO idea what this (being a woman) is all about." Not that he knew what I was going through when I was curled up in fetal position on account of agonizing menstrual cramps back in the day, but this…..this really clears things up as far as how different the male and female experience are….like woah. 

I totally digress though…I am lucky because as different as my experience of life is from my husband's right now, there is something incredibly bonding about the fact that he has put up with my hormonal insanity and the hot mess that was my first trimester. He finds a way every day to be "involved" somehow, whether it's massaging my aching back, feeling my belly, asking me to update him on this week's fetal development milestones, or (his new obsession) reading to the baby so it will recognize his voice and bond more quickly with him when its born. 


It really hit me this week: this is the beginning of our family. 

15 weeks

14 weeks

13 weeks
And Baby Makes 3!

I have at least twice the amount of peach fuzz on my belly now (sort of noticeable in this pic). I'm just thankful it's blonde!

let it snow

Normally I'd be holding on to fall right now, not wanting my favorite season to slip by. But, the unexpected 23 inches of snow that fell last weekend quickly forced me into a winter wonderland mentality. Of course, now that the snow has melted we are in that yucky "in between" stage….the vibrant, beautiful leaves have fallen, everything outside has turned crisp and brown (aka, dead) and it's too early in the season to expect the bare, naked landscape to be covered in gorgeous white snow. So, I will dream of winter until it finally arrives (for real)….

Snow Photography by Eye Poetry Photography

Dandelion Winter Photography by Raceytay

Paper Garland- Winter's Lace by Art's Delight

Cherry Red Winter Coat by Angelika Liv

Hydrangea Flower in the Winter by Raceytay

Winter Snow Photo Art Locket by Heartworks by Lori

Snowblind by Eye Poetry Photography

Winter Landscape by Lucy Snowe

Let it Snow Garland by Bekah Jennings

Organic Winter White Baby Girl Shoes by Bobka Baby

Toddler Girl's Winter Hat by Ruby Webbs

Tiny Snowflake Silver Necklace by Lulu Bug Jewelry

Christmas Red Berry Wreath by Wild Ridge Design

Hand Knit Fingerless Gloves by Annerstreet

i carry you under my heart

"Before you were born I carried you under my heart. From the moment you arrived in this world until the moment I leave it, I will always carry you in my heart." ~Mandy Harrison

I posted the same quote (above) almost a year ago exactly—the difference is this year when I typed the words, I cried. I know I have been talking about pregnancy quite frequently, but that is what consumes me these days. I know I will get back to creating art soon (thus have more to blog about in that area), but I also know that my life and thoughts are shifting right now. That being said, this was a big week. Sure I have struggled to get out of my pajamas and have basically been in bed since Monday, but even so it's been a big week. 


Alex and I heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time on Wednesday, which was thrilling, awe-inspiring and just plain magical. I wasn't able to hear it at my last appointment, because the baby was still buried deep within my belly thanks to the somewhat irregular position of my organs at the time. So, I have been waiting for what feels like FOREVER to hear this little bean's heart go woosh woosh. Alex and I had intended on videotaping that, but we were both in awe once we heard that sound….and forgot. 


Then yesterday I felt the baby move for the first time! Talk about exciting! I was literally reading about fetal movement when I realized that that was what I was feeling. Then I kept poking at my belly to make the baby move again until Alex (hello protective father already!) begged me to stop traumatizing the baby who was probably freaked out by the walls of her/his home caving in. 


The last big event was scheduling my next ultrasound today. Making a phone call and writing a date down in my calendar may not sound like an exciting event, especially since the ultrasound is a month away, but it was because now I know exactly when I will find out if I am carrying a boy or girl. I cannot wait! 

vermont bride

Short and sweet today (because I desperately need to go back to bed and it's only 11 am)….One thing I forgot to mention about my trip to Vermont last weekend is that I found out that one of my bridal pictures has been published in magazines for almost a year now (and I had no idea)! 


Whenever Alex and I visit the Stowehof, we have the pleasure of catching up with our wedding planner, given we are staying at her place of work. It's such a nice treat to be able to run into her so often, because she was there with us during one of the most meaningful times in our life and was just amazing to work with. Anyway, she did not mention that I had been appearing in a few Vermont bridal magazines when I saw her over the summer, but this time she met us for drinks and plopped down a pile of magazines for me. It was pretty exciting to see, especially since I was sitting there in maternity pants and actually enjoyed the fact that I have a few more curves today than I did on my wedding when I was emaciated from months of unending stress. Not to mention it was such a nice surprise given Alex and I were there celebrating our anniversary (a little belated).


Here's the ad:

so much on my mind

I have so much on my mind today. That's a pretty normal occurrence in my life given my introspective, introverted ways—I think I've been lost in thought since birth. But, since I've been pregnant it's been a bit different. I've read that it's quite common to find yourself thinking about issues or events that you haven't thought about in ages, and dreaming (quite vividly) of the past while pregnant. It's a biological instinct to purge what you can from your psyche, and work through old issues, before your child is born. Given my previous perpetual state of introspection, you can only imagine how exaggerated this is for me now! I find myself remembering long forgotten events in detail, like the day my parents told my sister and I they were getting a divorce when I was 5-years-old. Or I am woken up in the middle of the night by nightmares about such random memories, like being teased by the boys in middle school. I have also been doing a lot of "taking stock," looking back at the many phases of my life and how I've evolved and grown….and that has allowed me to sift out the pieces of my collective former selves that I'd like to take with me into the future, into this adventure called motherhood. It's more than that though—I've been searching for the pieces of me that I can't let go of, that I hope to cling to, as my identity shifts from woman to mother. More on that to come…..